The Promise

During our training period I realized that being with Wayne was not good for me anymore. He was at his first year of university and I was on a mission year. I was slowly but surely stopping my old life, and he was getting deeper and deeper into partying. We were fighting more and more, and it just wasn’t working. I also felt God urging me to leave him, I was just going to hurt him as I was far from ready to be in a relationship. So, I left him, and it wasn’t easy. But after four months of being together it probably should’ve been even harder. That’s when I realized how far away I had really buried my heart.
I made a promise to stay single until I’m ready to get married, and until I’m pretty sure the boy has potential to become my husband. My new view on relationships is that when you enter into a relationship, there are only two possible endings: you either get married, or you break up. So if you’re not ready to get married, well chances are you’re going to break up and get hurt, as well as cause hurt. I don’t want that ending anymore.
I still struggled with the pain I had caused in my past. It took very long for me to forgive myself, but eventually I did. And I could move on, and become closer to God. My biggest challenge would be to learn to seek love from God and not from men. And that sounds a whole lot easier than it is. Old habits die hard. But I knew God would help me, and that I would get there eventually.

Proverbs 3:12
“For the Lord corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights”