During one of our first touring cycles a large part of the emotions I had not managed to deal with in therapy came out. Something one of my friends said triggered me and all the guilt and regret and pain from the past came pouring out. I couldn’t stop crying. But as the tears stained my face, God’s blood was healing my heart. Facing it made it all better and I could finally let go. I still struggle with regret sometimes; I wish it could’ve been different. But I know in God’s eyes I am a virgin again, and that He has wiped my slate clean. All my old sins are gone. I pray for a man who will be able to forgive me with God’s heart one day, everyday. I know he’s out there somewhere, and when I find him he’s going to be all I’ve ever wanted and more.
When it comes to guilt though I’ve discovered a new way to look at it. In the book ‘Beauty for Ashes’ by Joyce Meyer she states that guilt is like telling God the sacrifice He made by sending His Son down to die on the cross was not good enough. You’re saying your sin is too big for that; He’ll just have to come up with a bigger sacrifice. And that’s not true. Jesus dying on the cross was the ultimate sacrifice; no sin is bigger than that. All we have to do is accept the forgiveness. If we don’t, we let the devil get his way. When we allow sin to come in between us and God, the Devil laughs. That’s exactly what he wants, and he’ll keep telling you lies, and he’ll try to make you feel guilty to accomplish that. If you ask for forgiveness, God can’t force you to accept it, you have to make the decision and take it. Go on, He’s waiting. And trust me, it’s worth it; a guilt-free life is amazing.
“God is for you, He wants you to be for you.
The devil is against you, he wants you to be against you.
Since Jesus bore your sins on the cross, along with the hatred, rejection, and condemnation they deserved, you do not have to reject or hate yourself anymore.” -Joyce Meyer-
