Sunday, September 21, 2008

Summer Loving

I once again locked my emotions away at the back of my mind, refusing to tell anybody. I didn’t want to face it. I started partying a lot again. A few months later at an event I met a little heartbreaker named Wayne. As you’ve probably noticed, I looked for my love from guys. And a guy is never going to be able to give the love we desire, only God can give us that unconditional love. I hadn’t learnt that yet though. Anyway, Wayne was also a party animal, and boy was he sexy. He was a real gentleman, and he made me feel like a princess. We started dating. We went on holiday together, his parents loved me, my parents loved him; everything was perfect. So, I was once again in a relationship, but there was one difference, no matter how hard I tried to love Wayne, I couldn’t seem to find my heart. It was so far hidden away, not even I could find it. Only God would be able to teach me to love again.
I still had emptiness inside yet again, as I had once again let go of God. I was tired of trying . . . but God had not let go of me. Even though I had absolutely no relationship with God I still wanted to do the mission year. I had no idea why.

Psalm 71:1-3
“O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don’t let me be disgraced. Save me and rescue me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me, and set me free. Be my rock of safety where I can always hide, give the order to save me, for you are my rock and fortress.”

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